Post 7. Celebrity Qualification

ABC just announced the cast of the next season of Dancing With the Stars.

For those (like me) who have never seen this show, it's an American reality show where celebrities partner up with professional dancers and compete against each other in weekly elimination rounds to determine a winner.

I made sure to include "American" so that my international readers don't get confused.

The Cast includes:

Pam Anderson, Erin Andrews, Shannen Doherty, Kate Gosselin, Evan Lysacek, Niecy Nash, Chad Ochocinco, Jake Pavelka, Nicole Scherzinger and Aiden Turner.

I have no idea who most of these people are. With the exception of 3 (in italics below), I had to look them up to make sure that after nine seasons, I still didn't want to watch this show.

This has since been confirmed.

For those who are also in the dark:

Pam Anderson - most famous for having sex with her husband Tommy Lee in a homemade video, Pam made a brief name for herself when she would run up and down a beach in slow motion in loosely tied together contrivances called "Baywatch".

Erin Andrews - also most famous for being photographed naked (although unknowingly), she is currently a sideline sportscaster designed to keep men from changing the channel during baseball games. No word on whether it's working yet.

Shannen Doherty - she was Brenda Walsh. Duh.

Kate Gosselin - the subject of a reality show about her, her husband Jon, and their eight children, Kate made national headlines last year when she changed her hairstyle. Not making this up.

Evan Lysacek - Olympic gold medalist in figure skating which means he's gay which means he knows how to dance which means he'll win. Stereotypes.

Niecy Nash - actress best known for her role as Deputy Raineesha Williams on Reno 911. Technically, I knew who she was, just didn't recognize her by name. She's hilarious and will no doubt lose because people who watch Dancing With the Stars hate comedy.

Chad Ochocinco - outspoken star wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, Chad made headlines in 2008 when he legally changed his last name from "Johnson" to "Ochocinco" as a reflection of his jersey, number 85. Chad is also not good at Spanish.

Jake Pavelka - commercial pilot and former suitor on The Bachelorette, where he chose Vienna Girardi over Tenley Molzahn and two dozen other women with made-up names. Reality begat reality.

Nicole Scherzinger - yet another former reality television "star", Nicole is/was the singer in the Pussycat Dolls, a group of singing prostitutes.

Aiden Turner - Who cares.

There you have it. The cast of something or other.

In other news, Parenthood starts tonight at 10 on NBC!