Post 6. Jerry Brown

I'm a big believer in the philosophy of not looking back. I think we go through phases in life that end so that we can move on to the next one. So getting back together with old girlfriends, going back to old jobs, moving back in to places you used to live...move forward, not back.

Jerry Brown does not believe in this, obviously.

Today he announced his candidacy for Governor of California. This IS a repeat from 1975, when he was elected and served two terms.

First, isn't this kind of thing illegal? Otherwise, wouldn't Last Action Hero run again?

Secondly, why would you want to go back to your old job? Wouldn't it be weird seeing all the people you used to work with, who have since gotten used to life without you? Plus, they've probably changed where they put everything in the kitchen and you'll just end up being that old guy who keeps going, "when I worked here before..."

A failed presidential bid in 1992 left him wondering what to do with his life, so he became a talk radio show host in Berkeley, CA, where he discussed California politics.

Then he became Mayor of Oakland. After being Governor of the state Oakland is in.

And if that wasn't enough, then he became the state Attorney General. Of California.

Look, Jerry. California knows you want to get back together. After a few rough relationships, she was seeing the tan muscle head for a while, but now she wants someone stable in her life.

Basically, Jerry, you're the Forrest to her Jenny. Is she ready to come back and have a baby with you that will one day grow up to be Haley Joel Osment? We'll find out in November.